There are many Christians who are single and happy being single. Unfortunately, the church and Christians can, at times, look down upon those who choose the single life or make them feel like second-class citizens. Further, there are some Christians who desire to marry, but simply are unable to find a spouse. For those who are unable to marry, they may also feel like second-class citizens or useless in the kingdom of God. Much of this stems from a lack of biblical teaching on singleness. Fortunately, the apostle Paul has much to say on this topic and provides five reasons a person should not marry and should rejoice in singleness.
Paul’s advice to singles can be stated as such: a single person should remain single in order to serve the Lord Jesus with undivided devotion and avoid the anxieties and worldly troubles that come with a spouse and family, which will result in general happiness.
1. Singleness is a Gift from God
We all know that marriage is a good gift from God. What many Christians do not know, however, is that singleness is also considered a good gift from God. The apostle Paul says:
“I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.”
1 CORINTHIANS 7:7–8
The “gift from God” to which Paul is referring is marriage and singleness. Paul is saying that it is good to marry and it is good to remain single. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul gives reasons that Christians should marry (click here for my article on reasons Christians should marry) and reasons that Christians should not marry. So, as we look at more reasons to remain single and not marry, rejoice in your singleness because it is a good gift from God!
2. Christians Should not Marry to Mitigate the Difficulties of “the Present Distress”
“I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife”
1 CORINTHIANS 7:26–27
Paul states that in light of the present distress, a person should remain in whatever relationship state he or she is; those who are married should remain married, but those who are single should remain single. Thus, if you are currently single, you should remain single.
What is “the present [or “impending”] distress”? Paul explains what he means later in the passage: “This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short . . . . For the present form of this world is passing away” (1 Cor 7:29–31). It should first be noted that the term “appointed” is an addition by the ESV translators in the phrase “appointed time.” Paul states that “the time” is short and the present form of the world is passing away. This is eschatological language. Paul believes that the period between the two comings of Jesus is “the last days” in which there will be times of difficulty (2 Tim 3:1–9; also see Revelation 6–19). The “present distress” most likely refers to the period between the two comings of Jesus. Further, when Jesus returns, “the present form of this world” will pass away as is made clear in 2 Peter 3:8–10 and Revelation 21–22.
Based on the difficulties associated with the time between the two comings of Jesus, Paul encourages those who are single to remain single in order to mitigate the difficulties associated with this time in which Christians will be persecuted and resources will become increasingly difficult to obtain. Paul suggests this when he says, “those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that” (1 Cor 7:28b). Thus, to mitigate the amount of worldly troubles associated with the last days, single Christians should remain single.
3. Christians Should not Marry to Be Free from Anxieties
Paul’s second reason for remaining single is to be free from anxieties.
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord”
1 CORINTHIANS 7:32–35, emphasis added
In the above passage, Paul is not claiming that singleness will free a person from all anxieties. Rather, singleness will free a person from anxieties that are associated with taking care of one’s spouse and family, which takes up a lot of time and compounds stress and anxiety. Not every person is able or willing to take care of a spouse and children. As such, those people should not marry.
4. Christians Should not Marry to Serve the Lord with Undivided Devotion
The reason Paul wants Christians free from the anxieties of marriage is so the Christian can serve the Lord Jesus with undivided attention and devotion.
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord”
1 CORINTHIANS 7:32–35, emphasis added
Paul is stating a universal truth in the above passage: singleness frees a person up to serve the Lord with undivided devotion. This reality hit home shortly after I got married and it was rammed home after my wife and I began having children. Prior to getting married at age 28, I travelled the world serving the Lord, went anywhere to serve the Lord, stayed up late serving the Lord, even put myself in harm’s way in order to serve the Lord. I would spend hours each day in prayer, Scripture memory, Bible study, and discipleship. Upon getting married, some of that changed. No longer could I spend as much time pursuing the spiritual disciplines. No longer could I spend as much time away from home. No longer could I travel on a whim or stay up late. After ten years of marriage and four children, I struggle to do the things I used to take for granted. I now fight for my time to pray, to memorize Scripture, to study the Bible, even to write this article. Much of my time is spent making money in order to provide a house, food, clothing, and other essentials for my family (which is good and right!).
Don’t misunderstand Paul or me as saying marriage is bad. He never says that, and I never say that. Paul is simply stating the reality of marriage; it takes up a lot of time and energy. This time and energy could be spent serving the Lord to a greater degree. Thus, Paul concludes that a good reason not to marry is so that you can serve the Lord Jesus with undivided devotion.
5. Christians Should not Marry for General Happiness
Paul concludes his chapter on marriage and singleness with the following advice to women whose husbands have died.
“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God”
1 CORINTHIANS 7:39–40, emphasis added
Although Paul’s advice is for widows, his comment on remaining single aligns with the general tenor of the entire chapter: singleness will make you happier. In addition to all the above quoted verses from 1 Corinthians 7, note Paul’s general view about singleness, how it is better than marriage:
- “I wish that all were as I myself am [single]” (1 Cor 7:7).
- “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am” (1 Cor 7:8).
- “But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well” (1 Cor 7:37).
- “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better” 1 Cor 7:38, emphasis added).
Throughout 1 Corinthians 7, Paul strongly suggests that remaining single will make a Christian person generally happier than if he or she is married. For a person who desires this general happiness, in addition to the above stated reasons, singleness should be strongly considered.
Summary
The apostle Paul gives five reasons a Christian should not marry. First, singleness is a gift from God (1 Cor 7:7–8). Second, a Christian should not marry in order to mitigate the amount of worldly troubles associated with the last days (1 Cor 7:25–31). Third, a Christian should not marry in order to be free from the anxieties that come with marriage and a family (1 Cor 7:32–35). Fourth, a Christian should not marry in order to serve the Lord Jesus with undivided devotion (1 Cor 7:32–35). Finally, a Christian should not marry for general happiness (1 Cor 7:7–8; 37–40). Paul’s advice to singles can, thus, be stated as such: a single person should remain single in order to serve the Lord Jesus with undivided devotion and avoid the anxieties and worldly troubles that come with a spouse and family, which will result in general happiness.