The reality for many Christians is that they have been divorced for unsanctioned (unbiblical) reasons and have remarried for unsanctioned (unbiblical) reasons (see my articles on divorce and remarriage). This reality raises the question, what should a Christian do if he/she realizes that he/she has remarried for unsanctioned (unbiblical) reasons? What is the right course of action in order to be a faithful Christian? Should the Christian divorce or remain married? To answer this question, we must first realize that the Bible does not explicitly answer the question; it does not explicitly tell the Christian what to do in this circumstance. However, what Scripture says about both repentance and divorce will give us a solid answer.
Christians who have divorced and remarried for unbiblical reasons should not divorce again according to the Bible. Rather, they should (1) repent from their sin, (2) confess their sin and apologize to God, their previous spouse, and their current spouse, and (3) turn from their sin forever.
Repent from Your Sin of Unsanctioned Divorce and Remarriage
Repentance is the first step whenever a Christian sins (Matt 3:2; 4:17; Mark 1:15; 6:12; Acts 3:19). For a person to repent, one must first recognize that he/she has sinned, then confess and apologize for the sin, and lastly turn from that sin and never commit it again. So, how does a Christian who has divorced and remarried repent? The first step for someone who has divorced and remarried for unsanctioned reasons is to recognize that they have sinned. Divorcing for unsanctioned reasons and remarrying for unsanctioned reasons is sinning.
Confess Your Sin and Apologise to Those You Sinned Against
The second step of repentance is confess and apologize. There are three who need to receive confession and an apology. The first is God. You must confess your sins to God and apologize to him. Because God is the Christian’s creator, Lord, and saviour, all sin is against him. Second, you must confess and apologize to your former spouse because you have committed adultery against him/her and caused him/her to commit adultery (Matt 5:32; Mark 10:11–12; see my articles on divorce and remarriage). Finally, you must confess and apologize to your current spouse because you have made him/her commit adultery when he/she married you (Matt 5:32; Luke 16:18).
Turn from the Sin of Divorce Forever
The third and final step of repentance is turning from one’s sin and never returning to it. This is where the answer to our initial question is answered, whether someone who has been divorced and remarried for unsanctioned reasons should divorce or remain married. Because divorce for any reason other than sexual immorality is considered committing adultery (Matt 5:32), it is reasonable that a second divorce for any reason other than sexual immorality would also be committing adultery and is, thus, a sin. As such, the way a person turns from the sin of divorce and remarriage for unsanctioned reasons is to remain married and faithful to one’s current spouse, not to divorce and remarry again for unsanctioned reasons because that would be committing again the same sin. In short, someone who has divorced and remarried for unsanctioned reasons should remain married to their current spouse. Committing the same sin twice does not rectify the first sin.
What about Ezra 9–10?
Ezra 9–10 isn’t the most well-known passage in the Bible, so allow me to summarize it here, which will reveal its relevance to our present topic.
The book of Ezra recounts the return of the tribes of Judah, Benjamin, and some Levites (now called “Jews”) to Jerusalem in the land of Judah after 70 years in exile for the purpose of rebuilding the temple (Ezra 1–6). After the temple is finished and dedicated, Ezra, “a scribe skilled in the Law of Moses” from the line of Aaron the chief priest (7:1–6), returns to Jerusalem for the purpose of teaching the Law of Moses to the remnant that has returned to Jerusalem (7:7–10).
Shortly after Ezra’s arrival in Jerusalem, he discovers that God’s people (the Jews) have married non-Israelites (Ezra 9:1–2). Specifically, the men have married women from the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites. Ezra calls the intermarriages “the faithlessness of the returned exiles” (9:4), and recounts the Law of Moses in his prayer:
“And now, O our God, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken your commandments, which you commanded by your servants the prophets, saying, ‘The land that you are entering, to take possession of it, is a land impure with the impurity of the peoples of the lands, with their abominations that have filled it from end to end with their uncleanness. Therefore do not give your daughters to their sons, neither take their daughters for your sons, and never seek their peace or prosperity, that you may be strong and eat the good of the land and leave it for an inheritance to your children forever.’ And after all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, seeing that you, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant as this, shall we break your commandments again and intermarry with the peoples who practice these abominations? Would you not be angry with us until you consumed us, so that there should be no remnant, nor any to escape?”
EZRA 9:10–14, emphasis added (see Exod 34:11–16 and Deut 7:1–5 for the place in the Law of Moses that prohibits intermarriage)
After Ezra’s confession to God for the sin of the people, the people assemble at the temple, confess their sins to God, then commit to “put away all these wives and their children, according to the counsel of my lord and of those who tremble at the commandment of our God, and let it be done according to the Law” (Ezra 10:1–3, emphasis added). In short, the people of God commit to divorce their spouses because the marriages are unsanctioned. All those who married “foreign women” (non-Israelite women) then “put away” their wives (divorced them) (10:6–44).
Ezra 9–10 is an important passage to address here because many of God’s people entered into unsanctioned marriages and were told to divorce. Should Christians follow this practice and divorce their spouse if they entered into an unsanctioned marriage?
No, Christians should not divorce because Ezra 9–10 does not apply to Christians for the following reasons.
First, the Jews of Ezra 9–10 were still under the Old Covenant (also known as the Sinai Covenant or the Mosaic Covenant), evidenced by their commitment to the laws of the Old Covenant: “Therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all these wives and their children, according to the counsel of my lord and of those who tremble at the commandment of our God, and let it be done according to the Law” (Ezra10:3; also see 9:10–14).
Second, Ezra is a teacher of the Mosaic Law, which is the law of the Old Covenant: “He [Ezra] was a scribe skilled in the Law of Moses that the LORD, the God of Israel, had given, and the king granted him all that he asked, for the hand of the LORD his God was on him . . . . Ezra had set his heart to study the Law of the LORD, and to do it and to teach his statutes and rules in Israel.” (Ezra 7:6, 10, emphasis added).
Third, Christians are under the New Covenant, not the Old Covenant. Jesus’ death ratified the New Covenant under which are all Christians: (QUOTE) “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood” (Luke 22:20). Further, the author of Hebrews confirms that Christians are under the New Covenant, not the Old: (QUOTE) “But as it is, Christ has obtained a ministry that is as much more excellent than the old as the covenant he mediates is better, since it is enacted on better promises. For if that first covenant had been faultless, there would have been no occasion to look for a second . . . . In speaking of a new covenant, he makes the first one obsolete. And what is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to vanish away” (Heb 8:6–7, 13). Because Christians are under the New Covenant, we are not obliged to keep the laws of the Old Covenant, including the command to divorce spouses from unsanctioned marriages in Ezra 9–10, which is based on the law of the Old Covenant.
Fourth, because Christians are under the New Covenant that Jesus ratified with his blood on the cross, Christians are to obey the laws of the New Covenant, which are taught by Jesus and the apostles, not the laws of the Old Covenant: (QUOTE) “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them [all disciples of Jesus] to observe all that I [Jesus] have commanded you [the apostles]. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt 28:19–20, emphasis added; see my article on this passage HERE).
The teachings of Jesus have been canonized in the New Testament (the Gospels and the Letters) because all the books of the New Testament are written by apostles or written by those who travelled with apostles (such as Mark and Luke). Thus, what Jesus and Paul say about divorce and remarriage applies to Christians; the Law of Moses does not apply to Christians. As such, the conclusion of this article applies to Christians, not Ezra 9–10: a Christian who has divorced and remarried for unsanctioned reasons should remain married to their current spouse.
Conclusion
Christians who have divorced and remarried for unsanctioned (unbiblical) reasons should not divorce again according to the Bible. Rather, they should (1) repent from their sin, which entails recognizing that they have sinned, (2) confess their sin and apologize to God, their previous spouse, and their current spouse, and (3) turn from their sin forever, which entails remaining married and faithful to one’s current spouse.
Divorce for any reason other than sexual immorality is considered committing adultery (Matt 5:32). Thus, Christians who have entered into an unsanctioned marriage should remain married. Finally, Ezra’s advice to divorce for the Jews who entered into unsanctioned marriages does not apply to Christians because Ezra is instructing those under the Old Covenant in the laws of the Old Covenant. Christians, however, are under the New Covenant (Luke 22:20; Heb 8:6–13).