Here in the West having children is not seen as a priority. Western culture teaches us to marry and have children later in life, if at all. ‘Wait until you finish your higher education; wait until you secure a good paying job; wait until you have paid off all your debt; wait . . . wait . . . wait . . . because these things are more important than having children.’ As a result, many married couples, including Christians are either not having children at all, or not having many children. All this raises the question, should Christians have children? And if so, how many?
All married Christian couples should seek to have at least three children. God commands all of humankind to be fruitful and multiply (Gen 1:28). The apostle Paul urges young women to marry and have children (1 Tim 5:14). Finally, Psalms 127 & 128 claim that many children are a blessing from God.
Let’s take a look at each of the four passages that shed light on whether or not Christians should have children: Genesis 1:28, 1 Timothy 5:14, Psalm 127, and Psalm 128.
God Commands Humankind to Have Children (Genesis 1:28)
After God creates the first man and woman (Gen 1:26–27), he blesses them (1:28a) and issues a fourfold command to humankind:
The first command that God gives to humankind is “Be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:28). That is, humankind must have children; they must multiply. This is not a suggestion by God; it is not a request; it is not a wish; it is a command. So serious is this command to have children that God reissues it twice to Noah and his family as soon as they step out of the ark:
“And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.’”
“And you, be fruitful and multiply, increase greatly on the earth and multiply in it.”
GENESIS 9:1, 7
The command to have lots of children is quite logical. God’s goal is for humankind to have dominion over His creation as seen in the fourth command of Genesis 1:28. As is hopefully evident, each command builds on the other. Let’s look at the four commands in reverse order:
- In order for humankind to have dominion over the living creatures (command #4), they must subdue the earth (command #3).
- In order for humankind to subdue the entire earth (command #3), they must fill the earth with people (command #2).
- In order for humankind to fill the entire earth with people (command #2), they must be fruitful and multiply; that is, have children (command #1).
Unfortunately, humankind has not always obeyed the fourfold command of Genesis 1:28. The story of the Tower of Babel in Genesis 11 is primarily about the earth’s population rebelling against the fourfold command of Genesis 1:28:
“Now the whole earth had one language and the same words. And as people migrated from the east, they found a plain in the land of Shinar and settled there. And they said to one another, ‘Come, let us make bricks, and burn them thoroughly.’ And they had brick for stone, and bitumen for mortar. Then they said, ‘Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be dispersed over the face of the whole earth.’”
GENESIS 11:1–4, emphasis added
The purpose of the city, Babel (Babylon in Hebrew), and its tower was to stop God from dispersing the people over the entire earth so that they filled the earth. Humankind rebelled against God’s command to fill the earth (command #2). However, God is not one to be thwarted. He confused the languages of the peoples of the earth “And from there the LORD dispersed them over the face of the earth” (Gen 11:9).
The Tower of Babel story is important because it confirms that the fourfold command of Genesis 1:28 is for humankind as a group, not for each individual person. As a collective, the human race is supposed to have children, fill the earth, subdue the earth, and have dominion over the animal kingdom. This means that not every individual needs to get married and have children, not every individual needs to move away from home to a far and distant country, not every individual needs to subjugate the earth for the betterment of humankind, and not every individual needs to be actively involved in having dominion over the animal kingdom. Because of Sin (the entity introduced into the world at Adam and Eve’s rebellion), infertility may stop a woman from having children; this is not sin (rebellious activity). Because of Sin (the entity), a person may be born with some kind of infirmity where he/she cannot work and contribute to commands 1–4); this is not sin (rebellious activity).
Now that we understand the fourfold command of Genesis 1:28, especially the command to have children, what does it mean for Christians today? Should Christians have Children?
First, nothing in the Bible negates or supersedes the command to have children in Genesis 1:28. There is no law or principle that says humankind or Christians do not have to continue having children.
Second, Christians are both part of humankind and servants of the God of the Bible, the living and true God. As such, Christians must seek to obey all of God’s commands, including the command of Genesis 1:28 to “Be fruitful and multiply” (i.e., have children). Christians are not allowed to ignore the command to have children.
Third, all Christian married couples, and only married couples, must try and have children. Because children come through sex and only married couples are permitted to have sex, only married couples may have children (for an extended discussion on sex only being permissible for married couples see my article on reasons Christians should marry and sexual immorality). Because the command to have children is a command from God, all Christian married couples must try and have children.
Fourth, married couples who cannot have children are not sinning. Scripture is clear that God closes the womb for some women and sometimes Sin (the entity, not the rebellious act) stops a couple from getting pregnant). Because the command of Genesis 1:28 is for humankind, those who cannot have children are not rebelling against God.
Fifth, Christians do not have to marry and, thus, those who are single do not need to obey the command to have children. The apostle Paul is clear that remaining single to serve the Lord is a good and godly choice (1 Corinthians 7:25–35, see my article on reasons not to marry for more information). If a Christian chooses singleness or is gifted with singleness, he/she has not sinned by not having children.
Based on the command to have children in Genesis 1:28 being a relevant command for God’s people today, all married Christian couples should seek to have children in obedience to God’s command for humankind.
Paul Suggests Younger Women Should Have Children (1 Timothy 5:14)
In 1 Timothy 5:9–16, the apostle Paul addresses the topic of Christian widows. Paul says that if a widow is a minimum age of 60 and has a reputation for good works she should be enrolled with the church for assistance and support (1 Tim 5:9–10). Paul then tells Timothy that younger widows are not to be enrolled because their passions and desire to marry will draw them away from Jesus (5:11–12). Further, younger widows are prone to being idle, gossips, and busybodies (5:13). Rather than enrol younger widows with the church for assistance and support, Paul says that younger widows should marry, have children, and manage their households so that they remain faithful to Jesus and not follow Satan (5:14–15).
The reason Paul tells Timothy that younger widows should marry, have children, and manage the household is so that they remain faithful to Jesus (1 Tim 5:14–15). For Paul, marriage, having and rearing children, and managing the house are godly activities and keep a Christian woman from committing the sins of idleness, a gossip, and being a busybody, as well as keep a woman from straying from Jesus to Satan. Thus, although not a command, Christian women who are married should seek to have children.
Children are a Blessing from God (Psalms 127 & 128)
Psalms 127 and 128 proclaim that children are a blessing from God. Let’s look at each psalm in turn.
Psalm 127
Psalm 127:3–5 says the following:
Solomon (the author of Psalm 127) claims that “children are a heritage from the LORD” (Ps 127:3). The term “children” needs some explanation. In Hebrew, when one wants to speak of multiple “children,” he uses the plural form of the word “son,” which is בָּנִים. Coincidentally, when one wants to speak of multiple “sons” in Hebrew, he would also use the plural form of the word “son” (בָּנִים). This causes some confusion in the biblical text. The Hebrew term בָּנִים can refer to either “children” (boys and girls) or “sons” (just boys).
The context of Psalm 127, specifically the reference to not being put to shame at the city gate, suggests that בָּנִים in Psalm 127:3 should be translated as “sons” (just boys) and not “children,” referring to boys and girls. Psalm 127:3–5 says that “sons” are a heritage (or “gift”) from God. Sons, in particular, are a blessing because the father “will not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate” (127:5). The city gate was where legal and economic issues were settled in ancient Israelite society. Sons could defend the family’s interests in a father’s old age or when the father was incapacitated, whereas daughters could not. Having many sons (which is what the reference to a quiver full means) would ensure justice was done and one’s enemies could not take advantage of the family. In short, sons protected one’s family.
Although modern Christians do not need to go to the city’s gate to do business, many sons are still a blessing to a family and still able to defend the family’s rights.
Psalm 128
Psalm 128 speaks about the blessings of those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways (Ps 128:1). One of the blessings that God gives to those who fear him and walk in his ways is children:
The reference to the man’s wife being a fruitful vine suggests the Lord will bless with many children, not just one or two. That God will bless with many children is confirmed in the following line, which states the couple’s children will be like “wild olive shoots” around the table. The Hebrew term for children is again the plural of “sons” (בָּנִים). However, in Psalm 128:3, it most likely refers to “children” (boys and girls) and not just sons as it did in Psalm 127 because there is no textual indicator that only boys are intended. Finally, Psalm 128:4 reiterates that many children is one of the ways God will bless those who fear him.
The Meaning of Psalms 127 & 128 for Modern Christians
Although Psalms 127 & 128 do not command God’s people to have children, they clearly claim that children are a blessing from God and that those who fear God and walk in his ways will be given many children by Him. Because the Bible is the Word of God, we know that it is God who is telling his people that children are a blessing.
If God considers children a blessing, then so should God’s people. It is the height of hubris to believe that something God says is a blessing is a curse or will not be a blessing in the life a Christian. Unfortunately, I have heard many young Christians speak negatively about children and about having children. There was even a youth worker at a church where I used to fellowship who said she would never have children because they get in the way.
If God considers children a blessing and having many children a blessing, then married Christian couples should seek to have as many children as possible in order to receive the blessing that God is giving. Christians, God’s people, should desire all that God has to give. We should shun all arrogance that makes us think we know better than God.
How Many Children Should Christians Have?
If God commands humans to be fruitful and multiply in order to fill the earth (Gen 1:28) and if many children are a blessing from God (Pss 127 & 128), then how many children should a married Christian couple have? It seems fairly obvious from the above passages that married Christian couples should seek to multiply and have many children.
The replacement birth rate is 2.1 children per couple. Two children are needed to replace the parents. The 0.1 is for any unfortunately child deaths. Thus, married couples will need to have a minimum of three children in order to multiply.
Based on the above passages, married Christian couples should seek to have at least three children, more if possible. I have chosen the term “seek” intentionally. Obviously, not every couple will be able to have three children; this is not a sin. However, every couple should seek to have at least three children.
Summary and Concluding Thoughts
All married Christian couples should seek to have at least three children. First, God commands all of humankind to have children, to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:28). As servants of God and as members of the human race, Christians must obey the command to have children, which has not been negated anywhere in Scripture. To multiply, couples need to have at least three children. Second, the apostle Paul urges young women, especially young widows, to marry and have children so that they do not stray from the faith and so that they do not fall into the sins of idleness, gossip, and being busybodies (1 Tim 5:14). Finally, Psalms 127 & 128 claim that many children are a blessing from God and that he will bless those who fear him and walk in his ways with many children. Christians should seek every blessing from God and seeking to have many children is no exception.
My wife and I are personally convinced and convicted that God commands and desires all married Christian couples to have many children. When we got married, we decided to have as many children as God would bless us with. It took five years before our first child arrived and we were thrilled. Once the Lord opened my wife’s womb, the babies kept coming. We now have four children and they are all 16–18 months apart from each other. Further, we are praying for more. What Psalm 128 says is true. Many children are a blessing. This is certainly true for us and in our life.