Without a doubt, the holy kiss is the butt of many pulpit jokes. I’ve certainly heard my fair share of them. Further, the holy kiss is used to support and justify the cultural argument of biblical application. Tell me if you’ve ever heard something like the following: because modern Western culture doesn’t kiss, Christians don’t need to greet one another with a holy kiss. But is this correct? Should Christians abandon the holy kiss simply because it is counter-cultural? Let’s see what the Bible says.
All Christians should greet each other with a holy kiss because Paul and Peter command it of all Christians, Christians are “holy ones,” it unifies the church, and because it breaks down social, economic, cultural, and racial boundaries.
The Context Surrounding the Holy Kiss
The holy kiss is mentioned four times throughout Scripture, five if we include Peter’s “kiss of love,” which I will include:
“Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.”
“All the brothers send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
“Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
“Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.”
“Greet one another with the kiss of love.”
ROMANS 16:16; 1 CORINTHIANS 16:20; 2 CORINTHIANS 13:12; 1 THESSALONIANS 5:26; 1 PETER 5:14
There are a number of features about the holy kiss and its context that must be noted in order for us to determine whether or not Christians should employ the holy kiss today. First, every time the holy kiss is mentioned, it is part of a command: “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” The verb “Greet one another” is in the imperative mood and is a command from Paul and Peter. The verb “to greet” (ἀσπάζομαι), which is sometimes translated “to welcome,” refers to engaging in “hospitable recognition” of one another (BDAG, s.v. “ἀσπάζομαι”) and is undertaken when individuals or groups meet one another after any length of absence.
Second, the way Paul and Peter command Christians to greet one another is with a holy kiss. Thus, the holy kiss is the manner in which Christians greet and welcome one another. The holy kiss is the manner in which Christians are supposed to recognize one another when we come into each other’s presence after an absence.
Third, the command for Christians to greet one another comes at the end of all the letters in which it is present. The letter writer (Paul or Peter) and those with the letter writer send verbal greetings through the letter to the recipients, which is a common feature at the end of letters in the first century. Then the letter writer (Paul or Peter) commands that the recipients greet each other not verbally, but with a holy kiss.
Fourth, the command to greet one another with a holy kiss is directed to all the believers in the particular church or location to which the letter was written. For example, Paul commands all the believers in Rome to greet all the other believers in Rome with a holy kiss. Likewise, the believers in Corinth, Thessalonica, Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia are to greet the believers in those same locations with the holy kiss.
Finally, the presence of the holy kiss in five New Testament letters suggests that greeting one another with a holy kiss was the normal way for Christians to recognize, greet, and welcome one another after some length of absence. Employing the holy kiss was common practice amongst the early church; all Christians did it.
The Theology of the Holy Kiss
An element that is often missed by those who speak about the holy kiss is the theology behind it. There are two theological elements about the Holy Kiss that bear on whether or not modern Christians should employ it: the familial nature of the kiss and the saintedness of the kiss.
The Holy Kiss is for Family
Those who are told to greet one another are called “brothers” throughout the New Testament and in all the letters that mention the holy kiss. Indeed, the holy kiss is almost always surrounded with brotherly language. This is best represented by 1 Thessalonians 5:26, which says, “Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.”
The term “brothers” is a familial term. It means that Christians are family. Through faith in Jesus, we have not only become Jesus’ sibling, but Christians have become brothers and sisters of one another. It should be noted that the Greek term ἀδελφοί (“brothers”) frequently refers to both brothers and sisters in the plural, which is its meaning in 1 Thessalonians 5:26.
Thus, when Christians meet up or gather, they greet each other like family, which is with a kiss. Christians are not colleagues, not associates, not acquaintances, not friends, not teammates, but family. The holy kiss is external evidence that Christians are family. Further, when a Christian greets another Christian with a kiss, he is telling that person I recognize that you are a brother or sister in Christ Jesus; I recognize that you are family and I will treat you as such.
The Holy Kiss is for Holy People
Have you ever wondered why the holy kiss is called a “holy kiss” and not just a “kiss of love”? The answer is because the kiss that Christians give each other is a special kiss between holy people.
Christians are often called ἅγιοι (from ἅγιος), which is usually translated as “saints” or “holy ones” throughout the New Testament (for a few examples, see Acts 9:13, 32; Rom 8:27; 12:13; 15:25; 1 Cor 6:1; 2 Cor 1:1; Eph 2:19; 3:8; Phil 4:22; Col 1:4; 1 Thess 3:13; 2 Thess 1:10; 1 Tim 5:10; Heb 6:10). This isn’t the place to go into what it means to be a “saint” or a “holy one.” The point to note is that one of the more common names given to Christians in the New Testament is ἅγιοι (“saints,” “holy ones”).
It should not surprise you, then, that the term “holy” in “holy kiss” is the exact same word used to describe Christians: ἅγιος. Christians who are holy are supposed to greet one another with a kiss that is holy, that reflects their holy nature. As holy ones (i.e., saints), Christians have been set aside for God and have been made pure. One could say that Christians have been made pure servants of God. As such, Christians should greet each other in a way that is different from how they greet non-saints. The holy kiss is that greeting. The kiss between saints is a sainted kiss.
The Practicality of the Holy Kiss
The holy kiss amongst believers has two practical affects that are important for the church of every age: unity and identifying disunity.
The Holy Kiss Promotes Unity amongst Christians
The holy kiss promotes unity amongst Christians by forcing them to treat one another as family and fellow holy people. When Christians kiss each other, it tangibly demonstrates that we are unified and view ourselves as one. Kissing breaks down social, economic, cultural, and racial boundaries unseen by almost any other act. Kissing puts everyone on an even playing field.
It is extremely difficult not to feel welcome and accepted somewhere if everyone is coming up to you and giving you a hearty holy kiss. Kissing is a great way to show the smelly Christian that he is welcome, accepted, and loved. Kissing is a great way to show that Christians from another race are welcome, accepted, and loved. Kissing is a great way to show that Christians are united as one and that it is Christ who unites us. Kissing is a great way to show that all Christians have the same status, that no one is better than another, that there is no longer Jew, nor Gentile, nor slave, nor free, nor male, nor female for those in Christ Jesus because “you are all one in Christ Jesus” (for the meaning of Galatians 3:28, see my article here).
The Holy Kiss Identifies Disunity and Health Problems amongst Christians
Because greeting fellow Christians with a holy kiss is a sign of unity and oneness, it can also be a barometer in determining the health and unity of a Christians congregation.
Kissing is usually more common and frequent when families are at peace with one another. However, when strife and discord enter a relationship, kissing usually ceases or becomes ‘cold.’ Thus, when Christians stop greeting one another with holy kisses, this is a clear sign that there is disunity and problems in the church. When a pastor or elder notices that one (or many) of their flock refuses to kiss the homeless Christian, the black Christian, etc., then he can address the issue privately, disciple the non-kissing Christian, and maintain the unity amongst God’s people.
When Christians are enthusiastically greeting one another with holy kisses, there is a good chance that the health and unity of a church is strong.
Should Christians Greet Each Other with a Holy Kiss?
Yes, all Christians should greet each other with a holy kiss for the following three reasons. First, the command for Christians to greet each other with a holy kiss aligns with modern Christians’ place in salvation history. Paul and Peter are writing to saints, who are disciples of Jesus, under the New Covenant, members of the church, and citizens of the Kingdom of God. Likewise, modern Christians are saints, who are disciples of Jesus, under the New Covenant, members of the church, and citizens of the Kingdom of God.
Second, Paul and Peter issue the holy kiss as a command to Christians that they greet each other in this way. The fact that Paul and Peter command many different Christian churches in different regions indicates that the command is for all Christians, not just one particular church.
Third, the theology of the holy kiss is still true today. Modern Christians are still brothers and sisters in Christ and are still saints/holy ones.
Modern Christians are obligated to obey the command to greet one another with a holy kiss because a command is issued to all Christians, who are saints and siblings, in the same place of salvation history as modern Christians. For more information about applying the Bible, see my article HERE.
Applying the Holy Kiss Today
Now that we know all modern Christians should greet one another with a holy kiss, the final question is how should this be done? The Bible does not list the mechanics of the holy kiss. It does not say whether it should be on the lips, on the cheek, on both cheeks, on the hand, or whatever. Thus, there are two ways to determine the mechanics. We can either (1) scour the first-century Christian records to see how they did it or (2) we can determine amongst ourselves as fellow Christians how to best do it in light of biblical teaching. We can’t go to culture in this case because platonic kissing amongst friends is by-and-large not part of modern Western culture. Besides, the holy kiss is a kiss between siblings in Christ and saints, which is definitely not a part of modern culture.
To me, because Scripture does not tell us the mechanics of the kiss, it is left up to the Christians to determine them. This method is employed in many church rites, such as baptism. Some churches fully immerse a person face first, straight down and up, or laying down backwards. I understand the holy kiss in the same way. As long as we are kissing, it doesn’t much matter whether it is on the lips or cheek. What is important is that the kiss is a kiss of holiness, not a sexually immoral kiss “in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God” (1 Thess 4:5). Thus, I encourage you to consult your pastor and Christian community if you wish to employ the holy kiss, which I hope you do!