With the rise of de facto relationships, civil unions/partnerships, and most recently homosexual marriages, what marriage actually is and its purpose has been called into question by popular culture. Further, many people throughout the West enter marriage without considering the purpose of such a union. We marry the one we love, but once we have entered into marriage, then what are we supposed to do? What is the purpose of marriage?
Marriage according to the Bible is an exclusive lifetime union between one man and one woman that represents the gospel and is the only place where sexual activity is permitted. The purpose of marriage is to both reproduce and image Jesus and the church. The three passages in the Bible that speak at length about marriage are Genesis 2:18–24, 1 Corinthians 7, and Ephesians 5:22–33.
I. What Marriage Is according to the Bible
There are three passages that help us identify what marriage is: Genesis 2:18–24, Ephesians 5:22–33 , and 1 Corinthians 7:2–4. Let’s look at each of these in turn and then summarise what marriage is.
A. What Genesis 2:18–24 Says about Marriage
1. Understanding Genesis 2:18–24
In Genesis 2:18–24, we have the account of the creation of woman and the union between man and woman. Having pronounced all of creation as “good” or “very good” in Genesis 1, God pronounces that it is not good for man to be alone (Gen 2:18). The aloneness of man is not good because he cannot fulfill God’s command to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, subdue the earth, and have dominion over the animals (Gen 1:28).
“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’”
GENESIS 2:18
To rectify man’s aloneness, God determines to make a “helper/companion/help meet” (עֵזֶר) for him who corresponds to him (Gen 2:18), which he does from one of the man’s ribs (2:21–23). The term עֵזֶר indicates that the role of the woman is to supply what the man was lacking in the design of creation. She helps him where he cannot help himself; this includes, but is not limited to, the making of children. The connotation of עֵזֶר is not one of subordination. The term is frequently applied to God who meets the needs that we are not able to meet ourselves (see Ex 18:4; Deut 33:7; Ps 121:1–4). Further, it logically follows that the man’s role is to supply what the woman lacks.
God eventually makes the woman from the man’s side so that she corresponds to him; that is, so that she matches him (Gen 2:21–23). The prepositional phrase כְּנֶגְדּֽוֹ (“fit for him” or “that corresponds to him”) in Gen 2:18 does not indicate superiority or inferiority, but that which God invested in the man, he has also invested in the woman.
Finally, Moses provides an editorial note stating what typically happens on the basis of woman being created from man (Gen 2:24). Since woman is made from man, the man leaves his parents, unites with his chosen woman (cleaves to his wife) in an inseparable fashion, and becomes one “flesh” or one “family” (a new family unit is now made). Thus, Genesis 2:24 bases marriage on the fact that woman was created from man to be a helper. That Genesis 2:24 is about marriage is confirmed by Jesus (Matt 19:1–9; Mark 10:2–12) and Paul (Eph 5:22–33).
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
GENESIS 2:24
2. Implications from Genesis 2:18–24
What does Genesis 2:18–24 teach us about marriage?
- Marriage is between one man (male) and one woman (female). Genesis 2:18–24 is clear that there are only two genders, and that marriage is only between these two genders: man and woman.
- Marriage is between two people (one man and one woman). The picture of marriage given in Genesis 2:18–24 does not allow for polygamy (multiple spouses). One woman came from one man; thus, one woman joins one man to become one flesh. Woman was not created from the ribs of multiple men, but one man, which is why marriage is between two people.
- Marriage between a man and woman is supposed to be inseparable (separation is never intended to happen). The implication of becoming “one flesh” is that marriage is for life. When a man and woman join together to become one, they cannot be torn apart again and become two separate ones. Jesus says as much in Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:8–9. Paul is also clear on this issue in Romans 7:2–3. Also see my articles “Are Christians Allowed to Divorce?” and “Are Christians Allowed to Remarry?”
- The purpose of marriage is for the man and woman to help meet each other’s needs that cannot be met without the other, primarily the need of fulfilling God’s command to humanity to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, subdue the earth, and have dominion over the animals (Gen 1:28). Marriage is necessary for humanity to fulfill God’s overarching mission and purpose for humanity.
- Because marriage is necessary to fulfill God’s command to multiply, children are to come about through marriage.
- Marriage came about because woman was made from man.
- The marriage relationship supersedes the parent-child relationship.
Based on Genesis 2:18–24, we can summarize marriage as a lifetime union between one man and one woman.
B. What Ephesians 5:22–33 Says about Marriage
1. Understanding Ephesians 5:22–33
Paul’s instructions to wives and husbands on how they are to treat and interact with each other in Ephesians 5:22–33 is the first example of how Christians submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph 5:21). After husbands and wives, Paul goes on to explain how children and parents submit to one another (6:1–4), and how slaves and masters submit to one another (6:5–9). This section will only treat the most salient point of Ephesians 5:22–33. A fuller treatment of the passage will be undertaken below in section II of this article.
Throughout Ephesians 5:22–33, Paul instructs wives and husbands on how they are to treat and interact with each other. Paul concludes his diatribe on wives and husbands by quoting Genesis 2:24 (Eph 5:31). He then says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (5:32). “This mystery,” of course, refers to the cleaving and becoming one flesh mentioned in Genesis 2:24; it refers to marriage. Thus, Paul claims that marriage “refers to Christ and the church,” which can be summarized as the gospel (5:32).
2. Implications from Ephesians 5:22–33
What does Ephesians 5:22–33 teach us about marriage?
- Christian marriages represent the gospel (Christ and the church). The way husbands love their wives is supposed to show the world how Jesus loved and loves the church. The way wives submit to their husbands is supposed to show the world how the church submits to Jesus (willingly, joyfully, and completely).
- Based on Christian marriages representing the gospel, marriage is for a lifetime. Divorce should never happen because it distorts the gospel. Since Jesus will never divorce his church (his bride), husbands should never divorce their wives. Further, wives should never divorce their husbands because it says to the world that Jesus is not good to his people, that there is someone better in the world who will treat you better.
- Based on Christian marriages representing the gospel, Christian marriages are between one man and one woman. Polygamy is ruled out because Jesus has one bride, the church, and the church has one Lord, Jesus. Jesus does not have two peoples (brides) and the church does not have two Lords.
- Based on Christian marriages representing the gospel, Christian marriages are between one man and one woman. Same-sex marriages distort the gospel because it destroys the very real distinction between Jesus and the church. The church is not the same as Jesus and does not have authority over Jesus. Jesus is the head of the church and the husband is the head of the wife. However, same-sex marriage distorts the roles and authority of Jesus and the church by eliminating husband headship and wife submission.
Based on Ephesians 5:22–33, we can summarize marriage as a lifetime union between one man and one woman that represents the gospel.
C. What 1 Corinthians 7:2–4 Says about Marriage
Paul reveals something important about marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:2–4 that the rest of the Bible takes for granted:
“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
1 CORINTHIANS 7:2–4
Paul states that all sexual activity belongs within the marriage relationship of one husband and one wife. Sex and all sexual activity are only permitted within marriage. All sexual activity outside of marriage is considered sexual immorality (see my article “What is Sexual Immorality according to the Bible?”).
D. Conclusion Regarding What Marriage Is according to the Bible
Based on Genesis 2:18–24, 1 Corinthians 7:2–4, and Ephesians 5:22–33 marriage according to the Bible is an exclusive lifetime union between one man and one woman that represents the gospel and is the only place where sexual activity is permitted.
II. The Purpose of Marriage according to the Bible
Knowing God’s purpose for marriage is important so that Christian couples can live out the will of God in their marriage and have a successful marriage. Without knowing the purpose of marriage, we will never know if our marriage is pleasing to God and how to continuously improve our marriage throughout our lifetime.
A. God’s Mandate for Humankind (Gen 1:26–31)
The Bible’s most famous passage on marriage (Gen 2:18–24) draws heavily on God’s mandate to humankind from Genesis 1:26–31. Indeed, it is not possible to understand why God created woman and instituted marriage without understanding God’s mandate for humankind, which is why we begin here.
The first two chapters of Genesis highlight God’s creation of everything, culminating in his creation of humankind in God’s image (Gen 1:26–28; 2:5–8, 18–24). As soon as God finishes creating man and woman in Genesis 1:26–27, he issues them a fourfold command, which is a mandate for all humanity, revealing God’s purpose for humankind.
“And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’”
GENESIS 1:28
1. Have Children (Gen 1:28)
God first commands humankind to have children: “And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply’” (Gen 1:28). The first ‘work’ of humankind is to have children, lots of children, and multiply. This directive is for humankind, not for every individual or individual couple. If this were a command to each individual for every generation, then those who cannot get married and/or cannot have children would not exist or God would be forcing a person to sin by making them unmarriable or barren. But, that is not the case. However, because this command is to the human race and Christians are a part of the human race, all Christians should take this command seriously and attempt to obey it.
2. Fill the Earth (Gen 1:28)
God’s second command to humankind is to fill the earth with people: “And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, then fill the earth’” (Gen 1:28, emphasis added). The command to “fill the earth” is frequently preceded with the conjunction “and” in most translations (ESV, KJV, NASB), or the conjunction is removed and a new sentence or clause begins (NET, NIV). The conjunction “and” used in this clause is the Hebrew waw (וְ), which has a wide range of meanings and uses. One of the uses of waw is to connect a sequence of commands. As such, the waw in “and/then fill the earth,” can indicates what happens after humankind (especially Adam and Eve) bears lots of children and multiplies; they then fill the earth. The waw indicates a sequence of events. When humankind obeys the first command to multiply, they will then be in a position to obey the second command, which is fill the earth. Note that humankind does not obey this command in Genesis 11:1–9 at Babel, which is why God confounds the languages (Gen 11:7–9).
3. Subdue the earth (Gen 1:28)
God’s third command to humankind is to subdue or subjugate the earth: “And God blessed them. And God said to them . . .‘and/then subdue it [the earth]’” (Gen 1:28, emphasis added). Again, the conjunction is a waw and indicates a sequence of events. Humankind is able to obey God’s command to subdue the earth once they begin multiplying and filling the earth. The idea of subjugating the earth is that humankind is to bring the entire earth under its control for its advantage. The translator of Genesis in the NET Bible says the following: “In Gen 1:28 one might paraphrase it as follows: ‘harness its [the earth’s] potential and use its resources for your benefit.’ In an ancient Israelite context this would suggest cultivating its mineral riches, using its trees for construction, and domesticating its animals” (NET, Note 58).
4. Rule over the Animals (Gen 1:28)
God’s fourth command to humankind is to rule (have dominion) over the animals: “And God blessed them. And God said to them . . . ‘and/then have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth’” (Gen 1:28, emphasis added; also see Gen 1:26). Humankind is to bring the animal kingdom under its control. Humankind is to rule over all animals. The passage does not state what sort of ruling (kind rule or oppressive rule), but seeing as humankind is made in the image of God, it is safe to assume that humankind is supposed to both control the animal kingdom, but also take care of the animal kingdom. For example, we need to control wild dogs from attacking and hurting people, control cane toads from destroying crops and native wildlife (a serious problem in Australia), but we are also not to torture or abuse the animals.
5. Summary of Genesis 1:26–31
Genesis 1:26–31 recounts God creating humankind and giving them the mandate to reproduce and so fill the earth, subjugate the earth for humankind’s advantage and the advancement of the human race, and control and take care of the animals on the earth. At the end of the passage, God pronounces everything he made as very good: “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (Gen 1:31).
B. The Purpose of Marriage according to Genesis 2:18–24: Reproduction
In Genesis 2:18–24, we have the account of the creation of woman and the union between man and woman (marriage). Having pronounced all of creation as “good” or “very good” in Genesis 1, God pronounces that it is not good for man to be alone (Gen 2:18). The key question for us is ‘why is it not good for man to be alone?’ Is it simply that the man was lonely? No. The aloneness of man is not good because he cannot fulfill God’s command to reproduce and so fill the earth, subjugate the earth, and have dominion over the animals of the earth as commanded by God in Genesis 1:28. Thus, God created woman so that together the man and the woman could fulfill God’s mandate for humankind, not so that man would not be lonely.
To rectify man’s aloneness, God determined to make a “helper/companion/help meet” (עֵזֶר) for him who corresponds to him (Gen 2:18), which he does from one of the man’s ribs (2:21–23). The term עֵזֶר indicates that the role of the woman is to supply what the man was lacking in the design of creation. She helps him where he cannot help himself; primarily, but not limited to, the making of children. The connotation of עֵזֶר is not one of subordination. The term is frequently applied to God who meets the needs that we are not able to meet ourselves (see Ex 18:4; Deut 33:7; Ps 121:1–4). Further, it logically follows that the man’s role is to supply what the woman lacks. Not to be crass, but both the man’s semen and the woman’s eggs are needed to make children; they supply what the other lacks.
Thus, we discover from Genesis 1:26–31 and 2:18–24 that a primary purpose for marriage is reproduction, so that the human race can fulfill God’s mandate to fill the earth, subjugate the earth, and have dominion over the animals. Because we know that the one-flesh union between a man and a woman in Genesis 2:24 refers to marriage (Matt 19:1–9; Mark 10:2–12; Eph 5:22–33), creating children is only to happen within the marriage union. Thus, to fulfill God’s mandate in Genesis 1:26–31, married couples must attempt to have children because that is one of the primary purposes of marriage and is a command by God for the entire human race.
C. The Purpose of Marriage according to Ephesians 5:22–33: Imaging (Representing) the Gospel
As mentioned above, the apostle Paul’s instruction to husbands and wives in Ephesians 5:22–33 is his first example of how Christians must submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph 5:21). Paul begins the passage by addressing Christian wives. He tells Christian wives to submit to their husbands: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Eph 5:22; also see 1 Pet 3:1–2). The rationale behind the command for wives to submit to their husbands is that the husband is the head of the wife in the same way that Jesus Christ is the head of the church: “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church” (Eph 5:23). Finally, Paul describes the manner of submission. A wife is supposed to submit to her husband in the same way that she submits to the Lord Jesus: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (5:22, emphasis added). A wife is also supposed to submit to her husband in the same way the church should submit to Jesus: “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husband” (5:24).
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
EPHESIANS 5:22–24
After addressing Christian wives, Paul moves on to how Christian husbands submit to their wives. He tells Christian husbands to love their wives: “Husbands, love your wives” (Eph 5:25; also see 1 Pet 3:7, which says “husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way”). Although there is no explicit rationale behind the command for husbands to love their wives, one can conclude that the rationale behind the command is that a husband is the head of his wife much like Jesus is the head of the Church, based on the earlier claim that husbands are the head of the wife and based on the analogy between Jesus (the head of the church) and the husband (Eph 5:23, 25). Finally, Paul describes the manner of love through two analogies. A husband is supposed to love his wife just like Jesus loved the church, by sacrificing everything for her, even his own life: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (5:25, emphasis added). Further, a husband is to love his own wife as he loves his own body, doing everything that is necessary to cherish and nourish it, just like Jesus does the church: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” (5:28-30, emphasis added).
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
EPHESIANS 5:25
Paul concludes his diatribe on wives and husbands by quoting Genesis 2:24 (Eph 5:31). He then says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (5:32). “This mystery,” of course, refers to the cleaving and becoming one flesh mentioned in Genesis 2:24; it refers to marriage. Thus, Paul claims that marriage “refers to Christ and the church,” which can be summarized as the gospel (5:32).
“‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
EPHESIANS 5:31–32
Thus, we discover from Ephesians 5:22–33 that a second purpose for marriage is imaging (or “representing”) the gospel, the relationship between Jesus and his bride, the church. Thankfully, we do not need to guess what imaging the gospel looks like in a marriage because Paul is quite explicit about this. Husbands must love their wives as Jesus loved the church. How did Jesus love the church? He sacrificed his life for her by dying on the cross so that she would be sanctified (or “made holy”). Thus, for a husband to image Christ, he must sacrifice everything for his wife’s holiness, even up to giving his life for her if required. He must do everything necessary for her to live a life of holiness, including discipling her, providing food and shelter, helping identify her giftings and releasing her into using those giftings for the benefit of the kingdom of God, etc.
Wives, in turn, must image the church. For a wife to image the church, she must submit to her husband as she would submit to the Lord Jesus and as the church submits to Jesus. Thus, the wife must submit to her husband in all things because the church should always submit to Jesus. It should not be hard for the church to submit to Jesus because he is always good to the church and always does what is necessary for her sanctification (holiness). If a husband is loving his wife as Jesus does the church, then it should not be hard for a wife to submit to her husband in all things. With that being said, we live in a fallen world where no husband is perfect. Nevertheless, the mandate for wives to submit to their husbands “in everything” still stands, even though the husband is not perfect.
D. Conclusion Regarding the Purpose of Marriage according to the Bible
According to Genesis 2:18–24 and Ephesians 5:22–33, the purpose of marriage is to both reproduce and image Jesus and the church, the gospel. As such, all married couples should seek to have children. If a married couple does not attempt to have children, they are disobeying God’s command for the human race to reproduce and are sinning. If a couple attempts to have children, but are unable, they are not sinning because they have attempted to obey God and the command is to the human race, not every individual. Although the number of children is not specified, the minimum goal for every married couple should be to multiply. Thus, 2–3 children should be the minimum goal for every couple. In addition to having children, all married couples should image Jesus and the church in their relationship. The husband should love his wife like Jesus loves the church and the wife should submit to her husband like the church is supposed to submit to Jesus.